It appears the "Apple of Sex Toys" decided pulling a Snapchat wasn't in their best interests, and have been acquired by Diamond Products LLC, a holding company owned by Brookstone Partners. There they'll join crappy toy clearinghouse Pipedream to do I don't even fucking know nor do I really care.

And while the last thing I want to do is encourage the rampant asshattery that is Draper's... God I can't believe I'm about to fucking type this... "University for Heroes" and the general Bay Area Startup fuckwaddery, they're selling Jimmyjane toys for 30% off right now on indiegogo and I figure people might want to know cause, well, cheap genital pokers. With 10 hours left, no one has bought shit, and the only place I've seen report on it is Techcrunch, so I can't say these kids did very well learning about how cold calling and social media traction work.

Anyways, fuck all this shit, I'm off to take a million showers to wash off the filth that is the modern technology market and then be excited about homemade dragon throats again.