If you've been reading this site for a while, you know I get ridiculously, breathlessly excited about some fairly random shit. It's not necessarily tech based, nor possibly exactly up my alley. But one of the reasons I keep slashdong running is because I absolutely fucking love finding interesting engineering and building happening around ideas that are more than just "Shit you stick in/stick it in".

So, with that in mind.

OH MY GOD. GUYS. GUYS. GUYS.

DRAGOMAW THROAT TOYS. IT'S A ONAHOLE YOU CAN STICK YOUR HEAD IN. (ok I guess this in the "shit you stick it in" category. But still. YOUR HEAD.)

ENHANCE

SEE I TOLD YOU YOU COULD STICK YOUR HEAD IN IT.

Ahem. Ok. So.

This is DragoMaw Vore Toys, a fairly new company specializing in making large tubes for you to stick various parts in and act like you're being eaten by something.

For those not familiar, Vore is short for Vorarephilia, the fetish of watching something eat something else, eating, or being eaten by something. Usually whole, cartoonish style, as I'd hestitate to call things like feeder or cannibal porn vore, but debating fetishes breakdowns is about as sexy as debating music genres.

Since it's been a while since I've mentioned it, one of my favorite sites on the internet period ever is the Vore in Video Games List, which lists many classic video games where you can eat something, be eaten, or watch something be eaten. It's fairly exhaustive up until about 2006. The sheer amount of work that went into that is just AWESOME.

Anyways, technically this is an onahole, in the vein of Tenga and others. However, I mean, come on. Tenga just released a new SMALLER size.

But fuck that, Dragomaw ain't having that shit. BIGGER IS BETTER. USA. USA. USA. Yes I realize there's a US Tenga and it is basically a portable single use hallway to throw your hotdog down but EVEN SO IT DOES NOT EVEN COMPARE TO DRAGOMAW TOYS I MEAN REALLY LET THIS INFOGRAPHIC INFORM YOU.

Anyways, DragoMaw will custom build toys to eat your head/arm/butt/whatevs, complete with homemade saliva that can be fed into the toys through pumps. There's a massive amount of features you can customize listed on their order page. They even list audio as a feature!

"Sounds vorish slimy when you flex it. Sound is a plus to vore lovers."

OH MY GOD I WANT ONE JUST SO I CAN SAMPLE THE SQUISH NOISES AND YES I KNOW MATMOS ALREADY BASICALLY MADE THAT ALBUM AND SO DID BLACK LUNG SORTA SHUT UP I'M EXCITED.

The base price of ~$200 is surprisingly low considering the amount of material this takes.

Found via this furaffinity thread that actually has some interesting discussion, including the fact that they're looking at building a WHOLE HEAD TO GO AROUND THE THROAT OH MY GOD YOU GUYS THIS IS THE BEST. THING. EVER.

We now return you to boring business analysis of internet buttplugs.