They needed $380000.

They got $380.


Elaico were featured in some places I'm not really used to seeing sex toys, like FastCo Exist and Ecopreneurist (saying the name of that blog out loud may make your tongue try to detach itself from your body). Which is kind of obvious when they try to use the horribly awkward "teledildonic" to refer to an communication-capable toy, something I haven't seen which I have never seen anyone try to do because holy SHIT it just hurts to read.

Elaico's female toy is pretty standard curved vibrator fare, somewhat like the RockChick except with extended pokey bits (industry terminology). There's not much to say here.

Elaico's men's toy? Um. So there's these things called balls. Apparently men are expected to either ride side saddle or draw a line down the middle and split up the boys to make sure they don't touch each other or else you're turning this car right around.

Either way looks uncomfortable. I mean, don't get me wrong, perineum stimulators are neat, but usually you see them attached to butt toys for reason. Biological architecture matters.

(Note: on their website it looks like this feature may've been removed?)

In the end, Elaico definitely feels like form over function. The toys are all pretty and sleak, but look like they'd fit better on a table than inside or attached to someone. The teledildonics seems like it's just tacked on for the sake of being tech.

It looks like the crowdfunding public thought similarly.

And to end on a fucking creepy note:

This doesn't look "sensual". This looks like hole in the shower wall creeper.

How can silicone dragon throats manage to not be creeper but designwank vibrators that want a third of a million dollars fail at it?

A question for the ages.