Handjob Machine: Mystery Solved, with ENGRISH!

Update: Sometimes, we (well, me) at Slashdong make mistakes. This is one of those times. We have just been notified that Fleshbot had this link, like, 2 freakin' years ago. Therefore, our snarkiness was unfounded, but unlike most other blogs on the net, we realize when we've snarked wrongly, and are willing to apologize. So, To Fleshbot:

Slashdong: Here's the 'very sorry song'

Slashdong: Won't you help and sing along?

Slashdong: Bum bum bum

Slashdong: I blew it!

Slashdong Backup Singers: He's sorry

Slashdong: I knew it!

Slashdong Backup Singers: So sorry

Slashdong: I'm very very sorry that I took your precious flaaggg! 2 year old link and called it new.

Fleshbot: Just don't do it any more, you scurvy scalawaagg!

Now, as part of our penitence, we leave the original post in tact, though it is now wearing a dunce cap. We ask that you still enjoy the brochure and engrish content.

HAH. All you bastards go to AEE and we're the first people to post about this? SLASHDONG FTW, BITCHEZ.

A friend of mine who did make it to AEE picked me up this flyer:

Page 1 (2404x1612, 500k)

Page 2 (2240x1624,300k)

Look familiar? Sure it does, it's the Japanese Handjob Machine! Er, excuse me, "High Performance Onanie Machine". Now we know who makes it too, SOM Japan.

Honestly, it's a neat little machine, very versitile. The brochure is filled with engrish, which makes this even better.

Now, I'm assuming "We are planning virtual type linked to visual" means they're either planning video synchronization control or possibly teledildonics. More on this once our other writer who can speak Japanese stops being AWOL (LGM, where art thou?).